Date #6: Let's Get it On....

Yep.  That's right.  Date #6 was scheduled sex!  Okay...we took turns giving massages before hand, but the main point was to do the horizontal mambo. 

I never imagined that we would reach a point in our marriage where we'd have to schedule sex.  Before kids, I never thought that I'd be too tired, too sick, too not-in-the-mood, too physically and mentally exhausted, too busy, too.......Before kids I never thought twice about the fact that we could do it in any room of our (then) apartment, not have to worry about the creaky bed, how loud we were being, or if we would be discovered. My toes were always painted, legs always shaved, other parts...well groomed.  

Now that I'm not sick anymore, and after over a month--  yes, a month!-- of a sexless life, we decided to get our groove back.   I shaved my legs.  Painted my toes.  Found lingere I haven't worn in at least 2 years.  Really.

Scheduled sex is waaaaay under rated.  Here is the thing about scheduled sex:  it is like make-up sex, first time sex, sex with your husband of years and years, slightly  naughty sex and sweet sex.  All wrapped up in one.  After a month or even after a week, scheduled sex can be any and all of these things.  The act of having scheduled sex isn't surprising, yes, I will grant you that. 

That doesn't make it any less enjoyable!

8 Months1 Week 1 Day..

Peach had her 8 month birthday at the end of January, and I never got around to bloggging about it. I did try and get some pictures of her on  her fabulous day, but they were "intruded"upon by big brother Stink.

Date #5: What's On Tap?

If you are are a new visitor you should know that one entry per week is dedicated to documenting each of the 52 dates that my husband and I are taking.  One per week-- and this week, we decided to have a beer tasting. 

Here is a little known fact about me:  I really don't like beer. (gasp!) I know.  I love wine-- from really buttery whites, dripping with oak, to big Italian reds.  From the dry and crisp to juciy and fruity.  You name it, I'll (nearly always) drink it.  Unless I think it sucks.  But when it comes to beer, I find that I think it stinks.  And it makes me burp.  To try and learn more about beer, and see if there is something out there that I could like, my husband and I trekked to our local World Market and bought a mix your own 6 pack.   Wanna guess which ones were my picks? 

Sea Dog Blue Paw Wild Blueberry Wheat Ale  ( I like blueberies)

Two Brother's Ebels Weiss ( Bottle has daisys on it-- my favorite)

Goose Island Oatmeal Stout ( I like oatmeal)

The other picks were my husbands.  For the tasting, we cooked up some burgers and fries-- and started pouring.  I didn't like the pilsners my husband picked out.  The blueberry ale was surprisingly yummy and refreshing.  Must like blueberries because it is not a suddle flavor.  The other beer that we tried was Two Brother's Ebels Weiss.  I LOVE this beer.  It has a hint of clove and vanilla--and just like the label states, a surprisng hint of banana.  I know. Banana and beer does not sound the most appealing, but it works!  I could really drink this beer.  The last beer on the list of beers that I picked was Goose Island's Oatmeal Stout.  I must be honest here and tell you that both my husband and I chickened out at the sight of this thick and dark brew.  We took one sniff and passed.  I drank up some more of the Sea Dog and Two Brother's...my husband finished off the pilsners he picked out. 

Our 5th at home date was a success. I am finally feeling better.  The kids were (mostly) asleep. (Peach cut one of her top teeth this weekend, so she was up and down a bit).  I wouldn't mind having another beer tasting down the road-- Sea Dog also has a raspberry beer I'm interested in trying and I would like to try other weiss beers. 

I'll take recommendations if you want to pass them along! 

Date #4--A Bit of a Bore

When Friday finally rolled around, I knew we weren't in for much fun.  Little did I know then that Saturday wasn't going to be much better.  I have been sick since January 2nd.  Like I mentioned in my last post, I did a round of antibiotics.  Slight improvement, not great.

Friday after work, my husband took Stink to the grocery store to pick up a few things.  When he returned, he was carrying a dozen roses!  It was our "date night" and I was feeling rather crappy.  Really crappy, in fact. But, to be sweet and "celebrate" the night, he brought flowers.  I love having fresh flowers in the house-- it makes everything slightly more fancy. 

Our date night was really dull and not a far cry from how most nights are spent when we aren't busy working on little projects or watching tv (or blogging):  in front of the tv watching DVR'd television.  Friday we watched Burn Notice which I think is a fun show.  Predictable, but fun.

So, because he brought me flowers (not my favorite, but "the best of what was available") which I think look beautiful, I am counting it as a date night. 

We'll pretend I didn't fall asleep, stuffy headed and fuzzy at 9 pm.

I am really looking forward to getting well so that we can do some of the many fun things planned!

A Letter From My Vagina to Yours aka Don't Use Monistat 1. Ever.

Dear Swizzlestickmama readers,
Usually I am pretty laid back and easy going. I don't cause much trouble and, until Saturday night, the only things that really made me uncomfortable were the birth's of Stink and Peach. But at least my part was relatively short.

Then Saturday night happened. You see, the woman you know as Swizzlestickmama (and I know as home), has been quite ill this past month. She has been on antibiotics—the bane of vaginas everywhere. Try as she might, eating yogurt at every meal, the wretched Candida albicans decided to multiply, turning my otherwise nice home into a very…uncomfortable place.

Being that it was evening on a weekend, her doctor’s office was closed. Knowing exactly what the issue was (having been diagnosed by her doctor in the recent past with the same symptoms) she ran to her local drug store to pick up this well known product: Monistat 1.

Let me tell you, vaginas! Upon Swizzlestickmama inserting the unassuming little “ovule”, it felt as if the whole of California was burning away in me. (Please note people of CA, that I and SsM realize that wildfires are not funny. That is why this is a perfect analogy. ) The pain was worse than the yeast infection was originally. Hours passed where poor Swizzlestickmama could not sit, stand, sleep, or do much of anything.

The lovely makers of this product tell you to “stop using” if you experience “severe vaginal burning, itching, or irritation or swelling.” This is interesting because they don’t tell you how to do so on the packaging. Anywhere.

So Swizzlestickmama took to the internet. Google- to be specific. She found loads of terrible reviews with equally frustrated women who have experienced the very same things she was experiencing. Some of these women tried to call the 800- number on the box, with (reportedly) not-quite-so-helpful results. SsM admits that she didn’t try to call the 800-number—what would be the point? She highly doubted that they were staffed with Gynecologists.

We burned and suffered for many hours until the ovule’s coating could properly dissolve. Then, she used a feminine rinsing product to begin to rinse the miserable product out of me. The fire-like burning lessened but was still quite unbearable. Many hours more passed. Another rinse. Still, intense burning. 15 hours passed before the burning became tolerable.

So, would you like to know if the infection went away? Me too. We are still unsure. And if it did, we don’t know whether we can credit the horrific product SsM used, or the very frequent feminine rinses coupled with boosting our body’s natural “good bacteria”.

What I do wish someone could tell me:

• How in the hell is this product able to be sold?

• Who at the FDA decided that this was a good product and safe for consumers?

• I’d also like to know how many women that work for Monistat have actually tried this product.

As a parting note and end to my angry rant, you all should know that Swizzlestickmama followed up with her doctor this morning.  They apparently only  recommend Monistat 3 or Monistat 7.  They,too, feel that Monistat 1 is an awful product.

Sincerly,
SsM's Vagina

Hey, You-- Stop Lurking!

I have to admit that it is kind of intriguing that I may have even the tiniest following.  I am not doing this for fame, fortune, or notoriety (of course, if any of those things happen by, I would not turn them down) but for purely "conversational" and record-keeping purposes. And for the most part, I "know" who you all are.  All except one.

Hey you! From LA!  Stop Lurking & show yourself!

I have some theories on who you are:

• You are Jennifer Gardner.  You really think we could be great friends, if only you didn't have to live in stupid, smoggy, LA.  (Note:  I really have no clue where Jennifer Gardner lives.  Anyone?)
• You are a TV writer/ Producer and realized the reason ABC's sitcom In The Motherhood failed so miserably is because the characters that were created weren't anything like most mothers in the US (wore make-up daily and didn't have pregnancy pounds left to loose!) and thought I would be a good model for your next character/ series. I hardly wear make-up ever and still have plenty of pregnancy weight to loose!  Of course we know "all events and names are purely works of fiction " and blah, blah, blah.  But I know the truth, right? Wink!
• My last guess, is actually two parts:  you are either a friend of someone I know / bloggy friend who just keeps visiting me--without leaving comments.  It is annoying!  Stop it!  I know I am not that entertaining. 

I have to admit that sometimes I do visit blogs that I don't comment on .  But usually these blogs have something like75 followers and have buckets of comments; usually what I would have said was already said.  But little old me gets, at best, 4 comments on a post.  Very few earn more. 

Okay.  So now have I scared you from coming forward?  I can't exactly threaten to kick your ass or anything.  I am in Chicago.  Well--suburbia, really.  Still, you are there.  And I am no good at ass-kicking.

Aside from all the crazy people that you could be, my main concern is that you will wind up to be Larry David.  So long as you aren't Larry David, I can handle it.  I can't stand Larry David. 

Wii! Date #3!

First off, I'd just like to pat-self on back:  Good job! You are actually still blogging about this!  Even if no one is reading. Might we have crossed into "habit-forming" blogging?   We shall see!?

Date #3 was fun.  A much needed night out.  We left our sleeping babes in the care of my in-laws and headed over to my sister's house to play Wii.  To some, this creation is old news.  Not such a big deal.  But I was a Wii virgin until Friday night.  Things change.

Here are some things I learned about myself and my husband while playing Wii:

• the music for Super Mario Brothers (I don't even know if it is called this on the new system) is still infectious. I love it!
• I am not any better of a tennis player on a gaming system
• I am, however, quite good at bowling.  My husband, stinks on account of him wanting to curve the ball.
• Wii Golf pisses my husband off just as much as regular golf.  Is there a learning curve here?
• As much as I want to be a great boxer (stemming from my obsession with kickboxing when I was much younger) I realize that I suck.  Really.  My arms hurt the next day, just reminding me that I need to go to the gym.  Which my Brother in law also reminded me of.  Thanks for that, by the way.

It was a fun night out. Not terribly crazy or romantic but fun.   Will we buy a Wii?  Probably not. I am not much for video games.  My husband might have a different answer for you though.  He has fun with the sport games--even if they do aggravate him.